I have opted to split this particular book into two separate reviews. More Than A Body is a dense publication addressing the issues of body image, the objectification of the feminine body, and how these important topics influence our collective and individual psyches today. PART ONE will outline the book's Introduction and first three chapters. PART TWO will cover the final three chapters, as well as an overall reflection. In between each post, you will find yet another -separate- review for an unrelated novel...because I wanted to do it that way.
Note that all quotes (both direct and paraphrased) come from this publication unless otherwise noted. I have spent a great deal of time summarizing and recapping the points that I personally wanted to highlight and, although I'm sure that I have not followed standard citation protocol to the letter, I want to give credit where it is due.
PART TWO: CHAPTERS 4-6, REFLECTION
Chapter 4: From Divided to United as Women
The fourth chapter of More Than A Body is dedicated to how women are often programmed to see each other as competitors instead of allies. The result of our cultural upbringing can cause us to "feel defined by how we appear, and so we define everyone else, friend or foe, by how they appear, positively or negatively. [...] The insidious objectification of girls and women by other girls and women often looks like self-comparison and competition, questioning and commenting, policing and patrolling".
Perhaps the most awakening piece of this chapter is how well-meaning body compliments often do more harm than good. Yes, you read that right. Positive comments on someone's appearance, while seemingly benign or uplifting, are still objectifying. "They perpetuate the idea that we are most valued for our looks and always being evaluated accordingly [...] most of us are complicit without even knowing it. [...] If you give looks-based comments the power to build people up, you reinforce their power to tear people down."
Consider this: All my life, people have commented on how small and "tiny" I am. Over the years, I've even garnered (loving) nicknames reflecting this. Year after year, friends and family would fawn over how cute and petite I was, how jealous they were of my skinny little body, and so on. It was all meant to be kind and I took it that way. (I still do.) It gave me a sense of validation. I felt valued. It felt good. Being cute and tiny became a major part of my identity.
But then I got pregnant.
Throughout my pregnancy, I vigilantly monitored my weight gain. Nurses at my regular check-ups would comment on how jealous they were of me for only weighing X pounds, even at Y months pregnant. I was "all belly", like a marshmallow on toothpicks. My itty bitty figure was a badge that I wore proudly and I absolutely agonized over any weight gain, knowing that it was going to be difficult to lose it. After the birth of my daughter, something became rapidly clear: I was going to need reconstructive surgery due, in large part, to the negligent pre-natal and delivery care I'd received from my "doctor". My body was so broken that working out to lose the accursed baby weight was practically impossible. My self-esteem plummeted, I became depressed (on top of the PPD and hormonal changes!), and my psyche suffered greatly. My "identity" was suddenly ripped from me because I simply couldn't maintain it due to very normal and natural causes (pregnancy, childbirth, age, etc.). But, thanks to a world that brainwashes women into feeling guilty if they can't look pre-pregnant within days of delivering a human baby out their twats (or violently ripped from their abdomens), my expectations were demolished. And I felt like it was somehow my fault. (Ludicrous, right?)
"Too often, the compliments we receive about our bodies revolve around the ways women have been taught to exist in our world - by taking up as little space as possible." Being "tiny" was fun, but it wasn't lasting. It wasn't life-giving or fulfilling or even meaningful in any way. It was frivolous and, whatever weight I didn't carry on my body, I carried as a burden to remain a certain weight and size. It was unhealthy, despite outward appearances of "looking fit". The obsession with calorie counting at every meal or snack, calorie expenditure at every workout - it took the joy out of eating and being active. My life was a chore full of steps to be checked off a list. As I've gotten older (and larger), my focus has slowly, but steadily, shifted towards my health. What can my body DO? (Answer: It created a friggin' life, what can't it do?) What does it need in order to do that? (Answer: More nutrient dense calories. Time and space to move and become stronger. The freedom to look however it needs to look in order to accomplish my goals of becoming more as a human being who gets shit done, not a "human being looked at".)
[Side note: Lindsay and Lexie Kite do acknowledge how good it can feel to get -and to give- this type of well-meaning compliment about someone's body or appearance. While they do not vilify this sort of behavior, they do suggest making changes to how we validate one another, focusing more on acknowledging others for their work, kindness, character, or other aspects of their humanity.]
From division to compassion to objectifying compliments, one of the most important takeaways from this chapter is found in the Kites' suggested ways to build up and prepare younger generations of girls.
From an early age, little ones are taught that girls are here to be looked at. This is reflected even in the clothing marketed to children and families. Writer Sara Clemence published a piece in the New York Times detailing this gender divide in the fashion industry, noting how easy it was to find practical clothing for her son (think: pockets, enforced knees, etc.), but how difficult it was to find equally practical clothing for her daughter. "I found girls' sections filled with lightweight leggings, scoop-neck tops, and embellished shoes. I scoured the internet for girls' pants with capacious pockets and reinforced knees, and found maddeningly few options. I eventually realized that, even in an age of female fighter pilots and #MeToo, boys' clothes are largely designed to be practical, while girls' are designed to be pretty... It's not just about avoiding skinned knees, but also the subtle and discouraging message that's woven right into girls' garments: you are dressed to decorate, not to do."
As we dig deeper into the messages we are sending girls and young women, we must also consider the objectification set in place by archaic and sexist dress codes. While they are often created with good intentions, consider the ridiculousness of putting the burden being a "stumbling block" for a boy (better yet, for a GROWNASS MAN!) on a young girl - a CHILD. "Society sets rules to regulate the ways female bodies are allowed to appear with the intention of protecting the male bodies and minds that apparently need to be externally (and not internally) controlled." What, then, about protecting female bodies and minds? What messages are we sending young girls -many of whom have not yet considered their own bodies as "sexualized"- when we tell them that their bodies are threatening, distracting, and provocative? By implementing one-sided dress codes, we are removing all responsibility for personal accountability from boys and placing the burden squarely on girls' shoulders. "If you are teaching the girls in your lives that the primary objective of modesty is to keep themselves covered so boys and men don't think sexual thoughts about them, then you are teaching girls they are responsible for other people's thoughts and that they are primarily sexual objects in need of covering." This does not mean that there should never be dress codes anywhere, but it is important for them to be equal for boys and girls.
"Girls learn the most important thing about them is how they look.
Boys learn the most important thing about girls is how they look.
Girls look at themselves.
Boys look at girls.
Girls are held responsible for boys looking at them.
Girls change how they look.
Boys keep looking.
The problem isn't how girls look.
The problem is how everyone looks at girls."
Chapter 5: Reclaiming Health and Fitness for Yourself
Chapter 5 spends a great deal of time debunking the myth that thin and fit are synonymous. As I mentioned in my own personal reflections on Chapter 4 (above), focusing on thinness is not the same as focusing on what my (your) body can accomplish. The Kites rightly point to world-class athletes, Olympians, and other unarguably fit people "don't always look like (or weigh like) our cultural ideals for fit bodies". Yet figure competitions and bikini fitness shows persist with contestants claiming health and wellness. "These competitions don't demonstrate cardiovascular fitness, stamina, strength, metabolic health, or any other indicator of physical fitness, just a standardized ideal look that is appraised by a panel of critical judges and an ogling audience. The tales of what happens behind the scenes and in preparation for those leanness-focused events are extreme, and not at all health promoting. No legitimate doctor recommends severe dehydration, malnutrition, laxative and stimulant abuse, and emergency-level exhaustion for anyone's health regimen, but those are often part of achieving the winning competition aesthetic. Visual appeal is absolutely not the best way to evaluate health."
By addressing the realities of health and the myths behind movements such as Thinspo, Fitspo, and even "before and after" imagery, we get a clearer picture of the deliberate and profit-driven conductors of this madness train. Dieting companies and industries gain by our discouragement and feelings of failure, both of which are certainties when trying to achieve an unrealistic goal. Our failure = their success. Not cool.
Even the longstanding go-to tool of all doctors' offices -the sacred body mass index (BMI)- is incorrectly yet continually used. If you have a copy of the book, pages 210-214 detail the flaws with the BMI scale being used and promoted by the CDC. They include, but are not limited to: not factoring gender, race, age, body frame, muscle mass, and the fact that it is intended for large diagnostic studies on general populations (not individuals). And this is the tool being used to both screen and diagnose.
Rather than focusing on our health from the outside, the Kites suggest focusing on it from within, arguing that "a person's level of physical activity is a better indicator of their health and fitness than their BMI or weight". By shifting our attention from supposedly "fit" bodies in favor of practicing healthy behaviors (eating a balanced diet, regular exercise, avoiding harmful substances), we can better evaluate how health and wellness feel versus how they (allegedly) look.
Chapter 6: A Resilient Reunion
In the final chapter of their book, Lexie and Lindsay Kite examine what they call "the business of body image". They begin by defining terms, explaining the difference between the questions "How do you feel about your body?" and "How do you feel about the way your body looks?" Ultimately, the expanded definitions of "beauty" in our culture are a step in the right direction, but these efforts to be more inclusive of all body types being considered "beautiful" fall short. In fact, they often cause even more harm. "We believe women are suffering not only because of the ways beauty is being defined; we are suffering because we are being defined by beauty. [...] Expanded ideas of which bodies are considered 'beautiful' or acceptable are still keeping a focus on how those bodies look. [...] Validating and appreciating the diversity of bodies that exist, while inclusive and helpful on the one hand, still centers the appearance of women's bodies as their most important feature."
Expanding on the business of body image, we are next introduced to the concept of commodified body positivity. "This profit-driven knockoff looks a lot like something truly groundbreaking for women, but it's most often a simple rebranding of a product, service, or company, and these companies often continue to marginalize and objectify women and profit from their insecurity." The Kites point towards ad campaigns driven by companies like Unilever, services and products sold by Weight Watchers and others in the dieting industry, and even the notorious and nefarious Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue expanding which body types are acceptable to pose nude/nearly nude. This is not empowering for women. Despite being "branded as body positivity and [subsequently] applauded as progress for women [...], We can't let the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or any other historically sexist medium be our barometer for women's advancement. [...] We want inclusion and representation, not equal-opportunity objectification."
Amen.
But it isn't just the mega companies or the perverts behind Sports Illustrated who stand to gain from our objectification. Social media is rife with influencers, bloggers, and Instagrammers who stand to gain from this commodified body positivity. Getting likes, comments, and engaging followers on their platforms becomes currency for these individuals, not to mention "whatever sponsored product is tagged in the photo". Another predator? The cosmetic surgery industry. The list of those who profit from our insecurities as women is endless, and certainly is not in the service of women's best interests. "Objectification hurts us. It minimizes us, it distracts us, it drains us. It always has." And it always will.
As they wrap up the final chapter of their book, Lexie and Lindsay Kite offer some logical applications in reality of the ideas they present, suggesting that "disconnecting your hopes and dreams from your dream body also expands your own power to reach them". The world's problems are not solved because you read this book, and people will continue to objectify you. Sadly, that is not something we will ever be able to change completely. We must still live in reality, but with a new set of tools designed to serve us in ways that enable us to make better decisions for ourselves about how we interact with the world. Isolation is unrealistic (not to mention unhealthy!), but the idea is for all people to "sit with the sure knowledge that your body is good" and to "deeply understand that your body is only a fraction of your identity".
Reflection (Final Thoughts)
More Than A Body is not the final solution to the issues surrounding body image in our society. It doesn't claim to be, but it certainly does serve as a formative point from which I hope many people will find encouragement, as I did. Still, there are three main problems that I have with the content and ideas proposed by the Kites:
1. It was long, redundant, and sometimes just boring. This is why it took me soooooo long to get through this book. Yes, it is dense and very, very important; that I do not argue. However, it often felt beleaguering and repetitive, stating the same concepts time and time again. Still, after centuries (millennia!) of having the "beauty = value" narrative drilled into us, I suppose I won't fault the people fighting the good fight 320ish pages of repetition in an attempt to remove all brainwashing. It has given me a new lens through which to view my own happiness and sense of self.
2. Lindsay and Lexie Kite deny the "obesity problem". That's right. They practically deny it completely and often refer to it sarcastically with quotation marks. While I am 100% in agreement with them that having fat on the body is both good and necessary, our visions subsequently diverge. In a noble attempt to disengage susceptible people from eating disorders or obsession over what are indeed very normal and needed features of the (usually female) body, I fear that the Kites have swung too far in the other direction. People are overweight and obese in this country, and in many other developed nations, regardless of how you define those weight-related terms.
While the definitions of "obese" and "fat" may be fluid (the commonly used BMI scale is grossly flawed, as the Kites rightly point out), this excess weight affects other important aspects of our health. (AND our economy! Have you heard about how the cost of plane tickets is on the rise, partly due to the fact that more maintenance measures are required to support the extra weight in the sky???) Although both Lindsay and Lexie do place a measure emphasis on healthy eating and exercise, they spend far more time rebuffing the labels of "fat" and redefining "obesity". This may be necessary, but what they fail to address is that many "fat" and/or "obese" people are not only malnourished, but undernourished. Many of these folks are not getting all of the important nutrients the body requires for health and function, instead filling up on processed foods, sugary drinks, and other dangerous and detrimental substances labeled "food". I do believe the Kites would agree with me on the issue of prioritizing health (which is not the same as being "skinny" or "looking fit"), but completely ignoring our weight as an aspect of our health is not the solution. It may not be the tell-all indicator that modern western medicine would have us believe, but it still is an indicator. To say so is not "fat-phobic" and it incenses me that my beliefs on this topic would cause some people to label me as such.
Do genetics play into weight? You bet. Does lifestyle also contribute? Sure as shit. Just because weight is sometimes influenced by nature and a person's biological body type doesn't mean that it is never a result of lifestyle. It isn't all or nothing. They are not mutually exclusive. To reject one form of disease (e.g. anorexia, bulimia) in favor of another (e.g. obesity, heart disease, diabetes) is irresponsible. We must be able to hold both of these truths at once. They aren't even contradictory.
3. I reject the notion that a non-biological woman has the same experience as a biological woman. Period. Throughout the book, Lindsay and Lexie Kite make efforts to extend the shared burden of women feeling valued or devalued based on their levels of perceived beauty with non-conforming people, or with those who self-identify as women. I do not accept this.
To be clear, I do believe that transgenderism, as a concept, exists; that there are indeed people who are born with the "wrong" parts and who have every right to explore what it might be like to live as the opposite sex. (Spoiler alert, boys: being a woman ain't pretty.) Personally, I couldn't give two proper shits about what grownass adults decide to do with their own bodies (remember The Lizardman?) and I don't understand why this is a public conversation beyond its reach into childhood and adolescence. But to pretend to know what it is to be a woman when you are not is offensive, insulting, belittling, devaluing, minimizing, and is the antithesis to feminist philosophy.
In my own short life, men have both denied and appropriated my ideas, my intelligence, my voice, my earning potential, my body, my health, my agency, and my history as a woman; I am simply one of many! So forgive me if I take issue with a man -whether he identifies as one or not- who seeks to claim my uniquely feminine experience, but my identity is not patriarchy's final frontier. He is free to become a woman without judgment from me, but don't you dare act like you've always been one by turning my femininity into a caricature. Bitch, I don't talk like that. Now lemme show you where that tampon actually goes.
[Side note: I fully understand that my centrist views and rhetoric may cause people on both sides of the debate to become frustrated with me or to write me off. Still, I do not believe it is the genuinely transgender folks who are making all the noise in this current shit show, and they have my genuine compassion and support as louder people turn their honest stories into a mockery.]
Do men have negative feelings about the way their bodies are perceived? Of course! Do non-conforming people have body image woes? Yes! We are all human and experience some level of this in our daily lives. We all deserve love and respect and the ability to experience the world as souls residing within our bodies, not as onlookers observing and judging our own bodies. But non-biological women cannot -cannot- claim to have the same experience as biological women. It doesn't make their experiences less valid, but they are not the same.
Ultimately, I feel that this book does far more good than it does harm. I can respectfully disagree with the authors on a few points while still deeply appreciating their work. To speak up against inequality always take courage, particularly if one does so publicly and in opposition to those with power. Regardless of our response to texts such as More Than A Body, the world will continue to objectify women. "It is vital to recognize that any culture that views and values women as objects will continue to degrade and devalue us whether we are playing by its rules or not." Fortunately, many of us (though not all) have the privilege to opt out. It may be uncomfortable or have consequences, but it seems worth it if we can model to our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, little sisters, and all the littles we encounter from here to eternity what it looks like to live as though we are deserving of love and happiness, regardless of what our bodies look like. (What a notion!) What better legacy to pass on to younger generations than "a new, more habitable and joyful environment for ourselves and everyone else - one where we have the freedom and security that come from not just believing that our bodies look good, but knowing that our bodies are good, regardless of how they look"?
